Everything

I haven't posted in a good 10+ months A LOT has happened,

I got a job at McDonalds and it really isn't that bad, and at times can be kind of fun. I'm quickly climbing the ladder there to.

And I've dated a few more girls none of them were really much, but i ended up almost losing my virginity a few times, and did a few things I'm not proud of. So far in my life I've only had 1 girlfriend who i look back upon without regret, and that would be Lexi. And then there's my current girlfriend, love of my life, and best friend of two years who I'm blessed to have.

I've lost 2 close friends both to reasons based loosely around guys, but I've found myself better off with the fact, my life is going great without them, they were only bringing me down.

I've also been legitimitly drunk a few times, the first time was New Years, boy that was a blast, a mickey and a half of fireball gone in like 5 minutes, then some other hard stuff later on. I spent a good part of the night on the floor, either sleeping on the stairs, or just not being able to stand xD. The rest was spent singing, being loud, and touching everyone.

The second time was my friend Trake's party. This one i regret. I got really drunk that i can't remember half the night, and cheated on my girlfriend. We were dating for like a week, and she was giving me mixed messages and thanks to alcohol i thought making out with Karina would be smart... it wasn't. That relationship was over within the next 24hrs. I definitely regret it, no girl deserves to be cheated on :/

The third time was with my friend Sharyse, and her friend Amber. 1/2 a 26 of sourpuss, and 1/4 a 26 of vodka had me feeling pretty happy, I don't remember to much, but i was living up to my tendency to throw myself down stairs, not fall but throw myself. and Amber was coming onto me the whole night if I didn't have a girlfriend that night would of been... interesting to say the least.

Then the most recent me and my best friend Cass drove his razor down to the rivervalley with a small bottle of crown, we drank it fast enough that we both had quite a buzz going on, and decided to go swimming, so we stripped to our boxers and went swimming, and i got stuck laying down in 6" of water... FAIL

I've also just lost a friend of mine, well not lost but she's moved to Edmonton (love you Lexi, I'll miss you tons) an I'm going to miss her, and i can't wait to see her again. French camp was absolutely EPIC!

Needy

In the past few weeks I've realized something about myself, looking back and even right now I've always been a needy person. I find myself constantly craving attention from one girl or another, I crave to be felt loved, I crave to be held, I crave to be kissed.
But at the same time I often find myself pushing my closest friends away.

:]

I want to know everything about you... but sometimes I'm afraid to ask.

a few things

1. Me and the other monitors for french camp are trying to organize a year end trip to gaving lake for 10/11/12 hopefully we can do this it would be really fun and nice to get away with friends for a few days.

2. Plain and simple. I'm Fucking Sick.

3. last night my best friend cass came over after school and spent the night, we hung out at dereks house and derek had a slight breakdown about his dead dad, and me and cass got into a litteral fist fight it was pretty funny ended up with havign ym bead smashed into a dresser though lol.
then me and cass hung out at my placem i texted people on his phone and we watched TV, played Xbox and went on the computers for a while
we then decided to go outside at like 1am with a bunch of pillows/blankets and bounce of the trampoline it was fun. we had a pillow fight. we just kinda hung out and talked for a while. and at 2:30 we decided heyy lets go for a walk down my road and to the highway so we did that, topless, a car honked at us and a guy whistled

First day of school =D

Today was the first day back at school, it was pretty great, after 2 years of bottom half lockers, and havign my head humped almost daily by the person reaching for the top shelf i have a full locker =D.

Not to mention i got to see all the people i havent seen all summer, and lexi got to meet most of my friends =P, not sure if that's a bad thing or good thing yet XD, some of my friends aren't exactly appropriate XD, but heyy that's why i hang out with them =D. Haha and today wasnt even that bad in terms of dirty jokes, suggestive humor, and ass grabbing LOL. well... it got bad after she went home =P.

And my first semester should be a breeze, i have math with the easiest/best math teacher, and i already find math fairly easy so thats definately nice, planning, french emersion french with the most kick-ass laid back teacher, and Mechanics with the second best teacher =P.

So i'm looking forward to this semester and hanging out with everybody every day =D, hehe hopefully lexi doesn't mind my friends,or the way i sometiems get aroudn them hehehehe

But the second semester... HELL in a word. i have the WORST teacher in my school for 2 blocks back to back that means a triple block somedays, even my mom detests her, hell even the other french emersion really nice and accepting awesome teacher hates her, and one of the classes there is only 4 kids, oh joy =D. other then her though its good P.E. with a great teacher, and socials (french emersion) with the best teacher =D

So all in all, this year is looking good besides Taplin (evil triple block bitch)

girlfriends

okay well in gr.7 when i was 13 i got my first girlfriend she was 14, i met her at a friends party, and i was using the computer. she decided she wanted to use it to and sat on ym lap we talked for a while and i kinda got to know her, got a phone number and a week later we were dating, we dated for a few months but then she had to move, so there was the end of my first relationship, it lasted i think 3 months

then in gr.8 i dated 2 girls (might of been 3)
the first one was my age and i was her first bf, and we only lasted 2 weeks she broke up with me the night of the school dance where i saw her making out with probably 6 different guys
the second wasn't any longer but ended with a "i'm just not feeling it anymore" type of thing and neither of us looked back (she was also 14)

then last year in gr.9 i dated 4 girls
the first one i and my friends don't speak of, we dated about 3 weeks, and she lied to me and all of our friends saying she had cancer, and dated my best friend after dumping me being the awesome guy he is though he dumped her when i said i didnt like it and shortly after she admitted she didnt have cancer (14 yrs old)

the second of the year was the shortest 5 days ... i think she dated me to get close to a friend of mine and actually when we broke up about 2 weeks later she started dating him, but me and her didnt get very close n i was okay with her dating this guy, and i think they've been dating 5months now =D (14 yrs old)

the third had started hanging out with my 2 best girlfriends just to get to know me and we started datign after id known her for about a week she was a pretty cool girl she was tough and laughed at all the dirty jokes, and good looking a hard package to come by, but after about a month and a half or so she broke up with me for a completly BS reason, but the next day i found out the true reason, after i had gotten on m bus, she started coming on to a good friend and asked him out he completly denied her advances and told her no (WOO for great friends), but after that she started being a bitch to all of our "friends" even someone she had been close with for her whole life hes the one dating the girl i just mentioned, and she has threatened to beat the crap out of my next gf , ... hurray for crazy exes? (14yrs old.. pattern?)

and finally my most recent gf, wow what a shitstorm it ended ini met her through a friend (who kinda has a crush on me) at baseball we started talking on msn and facebook and after a month or so i found myself beginning to like this girl, so i asked her if she wanted to go to a movie the initial idea was we each brought a friend n we would just hang out but about halfway through i got brave and grabbed her hand, and she accepted my advances, that is when we dicided we were dating, in the month or so we dated we hung out every 3 or 4 days and one day she decided she couldnt handle being "the girlfriend" and said we need to take a break, so for about 2 or 3 weeks i did everythign i could to try and get back together with her but everytime she sed she was ready to make the decision she would change her mind, i just became tired of it, especially when i met this other girl... so i broke it off for good (this gf was 14 to... hmmm..?)

well i met this other girl monitoring a french camp, i used to hang out with her little brother all the time (hes 14.. thats a repetetive number here) so me her and the other monitors hugn out liek 24/7 for what was it 3 days?, and i foudn myself begining to like this girl... so after beeing back from camp for a while i told her that i liked her and she told me she kinda felt the same, a few days later she was staying at a friends house who is convieniently located maybe a 5minute walk away, and i was ivnited to come hang out.. at midnight hehehe, so i snuck out and we hung out for about 3 hrs. and a while later she was at this friends again this time me and her met at the mailboxes halfway and she told me some things i know took her alot to tell me, she isnt my gf.. yet but i think i would like her to be =P, i know your reading this, so what do you say? oh and guess what everyone else who is reading this SHE ISN'T 14!

so the reason i wrote this is because i've had it enough with 14 year old girls with mind as easily changed as a light switch is flicked, i'm tired of immature girls whos whims change every few weeks, i think its time i found someone who isnt going to be gone in a month ... hopefully

QOTD: "Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude"


UPDATE: She said yes ! =D

energy drinks and apples

WEEEEEEE okay so today hasnt been great, ive been kinda depressed, well normally when im depressed i mope and listen to music thats what i was doing, but my mom came back from supper and gave me a monster energy drink, different energy drinks affect me differently, when i drink monsters i get liek really insightful, friendly and cheery, and see things differently, rockstars make me angry sometimes, and ampd make me wanna dance, and the 5hrs make me feel like shit i dont even touch nos because last time i did i threw up.

this was at about 7:30, so i drank that and started to think about my situation a little more and decided heyy i'll go for a walk around the block (amazingly my mom said yes even though it was liek dark as this was liek 8:00) so i was walking and came to a Esso and thought "heyy lets buy a chocolate bar (mr.Big) so i get in there and notice the drink cooler thing its had monsters 2/4$ so i thought fuck why not so i bought 2 more. i walked for about 10minutes and came back to the hotel,

i then jumped up and down the 3ft parkign baricade thingys just by liek bunny hopping but that got boring so i went to the hotel lobby and saw some apples =D so i grabbed an apple and sat outside the hotel enterance ate the apple and finished my monster, it was a good apple so i thought hell let's have another so i ate that one and 3 more so i sat outside there for an hour or more just listening to music and talking to the odd stranger one of them talked with me for about 10minutes she was very nice. so now im feelign very well idk insightful and bubbly, and i wanted to go see if someone was online ...she isn't.

but heyy i feel liek talkign about my night, and dont care if you find it boring then dotn read =P

so right now im sitting here talkign to the well the few ppl that will read this hell i dont even know you, whats your names? i like to meet new people =D, anyways im sitting here bubly as hell but feeling sick, and getting depressed again damn song better change it...
well i'm gonna stop before this gets to long

QOTD:
"it's easier to lie, to hide the hurt and emptiness, to smile instead of cry, to act like it's all a dream and pretend that missing you doesn't hurt"